Law of Attraction

How many of y'all follow the theory of law of attraction? 

I am a follower/believer... But I still sometimes ask for confirmation that it's real. And lately, since I've been trying to harness more focus in the practice of it, I find more coming my way--more of what I'm seeking. The experiences come even sooner and better than expected when I visualize in a calm manner--that's made a big impact on my recent perception of it. 

Truly beliving in the miracle of this law, it takes a particular confidence to let oneself trust in it without doubt. Doubt would be a barrier to what we want to actually happen. 

There were two instances last week that has strengthen my belief in the power that I truly have in my life (among a few others that we'll get into that during another post). 

As I'm writing this now and reflecting on the last couple weeks, I think I will practice more meditation in order to initiate more calmness and fluidity in my life. 

What kind of experiences have you had with law of attraction and/or meditation?

Please share!! I'm curious to know! :)

XOXO...

Crystal

*Image provided by http://bonniegroessl.com/the-law-of-attraction/

Negative Turmoil

I came across this... I truly believe in it, I do! But while in a heated moment, it can be SO challenging to keep one's mouth shut and just walk away or not say anything!

And I've often wondered... when we suppress our angry emotions, is that truly healthy for us? Aren't we suppose to release that anger? I suppose we could go to our rooms and pound the crap out of the pillows, right? But what about those initial reactions of wanting to hurt back? Why shouldn't we?? Cause then our world would just revolve in a endless cycle of hate and anger? I guess... Sometimes, it just feels so good to react and let our anger be released the way we would like it to. Just in times of joy, whether one wants to scream at the top of their lungs or jump up and down, the feeling is in us and we want to release it. It'd be like me telling another not to jump up and down and, rather, go take the dog for a walk.

There's also that comment of not stooping down to another's negative level... well, why would I want to spend extra energy to be the bigger person towards a negative-doer when they clearly don't deserve it?? They deserve to be treated as they are treating others. It's like letting others punch me and I should just stand there and let them... WHA?? When, instead, I could have the satisfaction of releasing my reaction and pushing their buttons as well. I'd rather much spend extra energy on somebody else who deserves it.

Co-parenting Can Suck!!!!

Especially when the other parent is a retard!! Don't get me wrong, there's been plenty of times when I've committed retarded acts; but the difference is that I eventually learn from them... I'm not in denial!!

What is wrong with this guy??? Going by his words and way of thinking, he obviously doesn't take responsibility for his own actions and is in the habit of blaming others. And this is my daughter's father... sigh... great... 

The guy is about 10 years older than me... is it so much to ask that he act like he's older?? 

I also think of what it says about myself that this was somebody that I was with back then... but nobody's immune to stupid acts of conduct. The positive side of mistakes is that we can learn from them and they make us into better people... hopefully! In his case... not so much...

At the time, I was caught in the all-too-familiar comfort zone... even when I was miserable, I was more afraid of the unknown. But when a comment was said to me that hit my heart (because it involved my daughter), I knew in that very moment, that I HAD to leave that toxic/miserable situation I kept myself in. Soon after that, I made a plan and it was set in motion. I remember it like yesterday--once I started that ball rolling, it was not going to stop... each day that passed, it was like the ascent on a roller coaster--I was nervous, anxious and (unlike a roller coaster) wasn't sure what kind of reaction to anticipate... I just knew it was going to have that same feeling as when the roller starts it descent. 

I have another 13 years left that I have to be in contact with her dad o_O As time goes on though, I'm hoping that I have to deal w/ him less and less since my daughter will be older and she will be able to make certain decisions on her own. 

Intro

So, i want to start writing more and figure that when I'm rambling in written form, this will be my practice =) Seems like a fitting title... I'm Asian and I'm rambling... TA-DA!!!!! 

what i truly need to learn is to just ramble w/o thinking of grammar and spelling and all that  punctuation!! isn't it called free writing when ur just randomly writing about whatever that's going through uyou mind at the moment? even tho I want to write in free form, i don't want to get caught up in writing in "slang" (ie gonna, wanna, ur...). i have my limits!

I've been having a few drinks and sometimes I feel like the sbest time to write is when my guard has lowered and not so self-critical. isn't that when we're mor ehonest?? i believe it was edgar allen poe who said he did his best writing while drunk. is that why he wrote so well?? wrote all he wanted w/o fear of judgment or criticism?? 

i cant seem to get away from wanting to correct spelling... but i'll do that right before i publish the post =)

20 min ago i had so much i wanted to write about and wanted to say but now, it's gone... where did it go? i don't know but wish it would come back! please come back... it had to do with me spewing crap about some righteous bs to the bf... that's right, i can't yet get myself to call him my "fiance." why? cuz i got commitment issues and blah, blah, blah... y'know, the usual crap that's down and implanted in our psyche and not to mention that we hate... sucks...

hey, this free writing is pretty good... saying whatever that just comes to mind w/ no preplanned sense of of anything... moment to moment... that is pretty freeing! i heard that freewriting can sometimes unlock doors that we didn't know were even there... do i care to thread along those lines? HELL, YEAH!!!! hahahaha!! i want to know what truths lies under the surface. the truths that maybe my mind has hidden in order to protect itself--self-preservation. im excited with a tinge of nervous. but more excited and would rather know than be ignorant and blind to the REAL person that is in me!! i know, be careful what i wish for blah, blah, blah...

edgar allen poe has said that the most honest people in the world are kids and drunkards... so true!! i would drink more if it didn't affect my caloric intake so much hahahaha! nothing is wrong w/ wanting to come to terms to who i am! and if i need to drink to get there, why not?? im not operating a vehicle, im not going to work drunk, nobody's being put in harm's way... only think would be that my liver would have to filter the alcohol and other than that, i'd be able to dig down deep inside myself and pull all the fake covering s off and expose my true and real self.! i want to know me!! i want to know the REAL me!!! not just the superficial semi-controlled me. i want to see it all... i want to see my weaknesses, i don't want to push down innate personality traits just because of society rule. i am not afraid to see who i am!!! i want to know who i am!! and i want to love me for who i am... i don't want to lie to myself, i don't want to sugar crap, i want the raw self that is me... 

i am selfish, i am self-righetous, i'm apparently controlling, i am hurt, i am disappointed, i am angrey, i am afraid...

and it is absolutely okay to be all these things... it does not make me a bad person... it makes me, me... and i love me more than i don't. i value myself in certain ways and don't in others--which disappoints me... i want to feel deserving in ALL aspects of life!!! we get this life and can't say for sure where we'll go, so i want to make this count!!! i don't want to leave some mundane, mediocre life with just enought to get by!!! I WANT EVERYTHING I WANT!!!! don't i deserve it!!! HELL, YES!!! i want everything that i want, hope, and dream of!!! i know how the saying goes of being careful what we wish for... i will accept those curses that come along w/ "success" cuz no matter what, there will definitely be unpleasant moments so i might as well take 'em as they come along w/ all the grandiose thing in life!!! as long as i have my full and complete health, of course. things $$ cannot buy--health and time and love... 

lately i've been feeling afraid... feeling the evil hands of fear... stopping me from doing that which i want to do and accomplish in life... i hate fear... i want to have the courage to act in spite of it!!! i want to be able to act because i feel that fear... i want to be strong, i want to teach sophia that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in life is truly possible. i want her to have which i have not ever had! i want her to be the person that helps rahter than hurts, the person that contributes rather than take, the person that can act right rather than be popular, the person who would rather be outside the box because everybody on the inside just wants to fit in. but on the other side of all this, i don't want to pressure her into anything. am i being too sensitive? am i overreacting? am i harming? am i unintentionally putting too much on her????